Stabilizing.

Things are getting better. More importantly, things are feeling better. (Sometimes things can be fine but not feel fine, and that's just as bad as things not being fine, although not quite as bad as things not being fine but feeling fine anyway. That's just dangerous.) I'm not feeling quite as much self-hatred, although I did struggle with some paranoia this morning. I got through it though.

I wish my sleeping schedule would normalize. I bet that would help.
It probably doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping in my bed.

This is where I slept last night:

I know you're jealous...

Usually all of those pillows and blankets stacked up on the right are spread out a little more, either piled into roughly the size and shape of a bed or strewn across the entire apartment for sit-your-butt-down-anywhere Roman lounging. I had stacked them as compactly as possible to make room for my massage table yesterday, but I still insisted on sleeping on that thin strip of cushions rather than my queen size bed. I will likely do the same tonight.

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So! I got a very exciting piece of mail today!

I got my first letter from Diego, the child in Guatemala that I am sponsoring.

"Hello Dear Miss Wiebenson,
Thank you very much for choosing me as your sponsored child. I hope this letter finds you healthy along your family. I want to thank you for all you have done for my support. Your support is so useful for me. I have overcome many economic situations to live happy. Let me tell you that I help at home. I close with so much love.
Diego Felix Gonzalez Suar"
Or at least that's what the translators say it says. ;)

Also, he drew me a picture!

The next 8 years are going to be awesome.
I'm going to work on my reply tomorrow. :)

Money well spent...

The other day I was walking around downtown. As I passed several stores, I looked at the window displays, thinking about things I wished I was able to buy.
Someone on a street corner addressed me with a big smile, and I thought for a moment that maybe we'd met and I just didn't remember. I stopped and greeted him, and it turned out I didn't know him. I figured he was taking a survey or collecting signatures for a petition or some such thing.
He was with Children International. He didn't show me pictures of teary-eyed children in rags, and he didn't tell me any sob stories; I didn't need them. He told me the facts: what most of the countries they work with are in need of, what their organization does to help, how the supporter's money is used, etc. He told me that sponsoring a child was $7 per week and asked if I could afford to / would like to sign up to sponsor a child and help give them a better chance for the future.
I thought about it, and I realized that $7 per week is easily covered by one bad tipper per week. I thought about all the nice things I'd wanted (but didn't need) to impulse-buy. I decided that this would be a much better use of my money.
So I signed up.
You can choose the gender, age bracket, and country to select your child from. I chose "no preference" for all of them, and checked the box for choosing a child on the emergency list.
So, I would like you to meet my child, Diego Felix Gonzalez Suar. He is 11 years old and lives in Guatemala. I will sponsor him until he graduates from the Children International project when he is 19.