What a day.

High emotion.

I don't even remember what I was originally planning on writing about today...

Maybe the fact that I'm definitely on the road to health?

I certainly wasn't planning on writing about old memories coming back to torment me in disgusting, traumatic detail.

I'm sure I also wasn't planning to write about how I felt good about an action at first and mere hours later was hating myself (which these days = hitting myself) for fear and dread of bad consequences. It turned out ok, I guess; too bad I couldn't just keep a level head so now my thighs have to pay for it. You know what? I still feel good about the action. It was something I wanted to do, and I believe it had the effect I was hoping for. So yeah.

I'm tired, and my brain is a wreck. I need less stress and more clarity, and I need it now. I've made a couple changes that have helped, but it isn't enough. At this point it seems like anything I could do that would help with my current stress would just cause stress of a different variety.

THE GOOD:
1. I am definitely on the road to health; I got acupuncture and cupping again on Wednesday and since then, my sinuses have been mercifully clear and I'm now coughing up white/clear gunk from my lungs instead of brown/green gunk. Also, my energy level is up and I'm breathing a lot more easily.
2. Today I was thinking about nicknames (nice ones, not mean ones) and it made me smile really big.

Hmm. Only two. Oh well.

Emo-Martha, signing off.